Covid restrictions and holidays can be a recipe for tension in the home! Here are two tools that might help to make things easier for us all.
Circuit Breaker #1
It’s one of those things I find infuriating and wonderful all at the same time, I don’t know if you relate, it goes something like this: Someone has really ticked me off and I feel angry and offended; I’m rehearsing all the things I want to say to them to let them know how I feel and how bad a person they are. Then I see them and they apologise, maybe even before I’ve started my rant… and Boom! That’s it! In that moment, all the tension dissipates and I feel fine; like nothing ever happened.
On we go with our conversation, smiling and connected, restored.
That’s the power of a sincere apology.
It’s absolutely immense!
True also, however, were Elton John’s words; “Sorry seems to be the hardest word”. I so relate to that! It really costs to say sorry, it’s a blow to my pride and it sucks! (so perhaps this circuit breaker isn’t entirely free after all!) But I can also see that this cost is entirely overshadowed by the benefit of restored relationship and peace of mind. So…. Here goes! Will you join me in practicing the art of saying sorry?
Circuit Breaker #2
This Breaker is one of Mother Nature’s best tricks! There is science to prove it too. When I help you or do something nice for you (not grudgingly but because I want to), gee it feels good! It feels good to me the doer. It feels good to you, the receiver. It even feels good to anyone who saw it happen! But it doesn’t stop there; I am then more likely to do something nice for someone else again today. You are also more likely to lend a hand to someone later today. And…. You guessed it, the person who saw me help you in the first instance is also more likely to do something kind for someone in the next few hours! And yes, every one of those times, that same good feeling happens inside all the people concerned and those who get to see what’s taking place! And so kindness cascades on and out from each act.
Here’s a video to get you started, it makes me cry every time I watch it! (in a good way!)
And the science? Well, it turns out that all that ‘feeling good’ is actually due to a hormone called Oxytocin that is released when we do nice stuff for others. And one of the roles of Oxytocin is to cause us to reach out and connect to others. Oxytocin is responsible for the bond between a mother and her new born baby at birth. It’s a very powerful chemical in our bodies, and we can make choices that release more and more of it into our system as well as the system of those around us!
SO, want to feel good?
Do something nice for someone, lend a hand, speak a kind word. You’ll feel so much better, and you could set in motion a whole lot of ‘feel good’ around you!